Growing Kids - Not Grass

                                                                    LETTING GO

As our kids have grown into adults, married, and now have kids of their own, I am still amazed at how quickly the time flew by. One day they were all under foot, needy and dependent. Then I looked up and they were adults and their needs had outgrown what momma could meet! Now, as our family of six has expanded to 23, I am still amazed at how time takes wing and flies away. Our precious grandkids are growing up at a rate that takes my breath away, and I can't seem to suck it back in!

Let me ask you a question. Can you describe the first time you held each of your children, or heard their first cries? I would guess that you can see an instant flash of replay of that incredible moment! I would love to hear you describe the joy, exhilaration, and ecstasy of laying your eyes on, to you,  the most beautiful creature God ever created. This gorgeous little helpless person belonged to you and he or she was yours to love, care for, nurture, train, meet all his needs, and raise to be a productive adult!

The first time I held our first baby will forever be etched in my mind. The nurse placed that adorable punkin with his round, orange, fuzz-covered head in my arms, and as she left us alone to get to know one another, he turned his chubby little face toward me and looked me straight in the eyes, as if to say,"Hello, mommy! Get ready, 'cause here I am!" I promise you, I had to put my head back on the pillow because I was about to faint! And I "heard" him correctly; it is 41 years later and there has never been a dull moment being his mother!

I wonder if you had the same feelings that began to creep into my mind and heart---a silent fear of losing him in one way or another. How many times did you get up in the night to make sure the baby was still breathing? Yep! I thought so; too many to count. Me, too. For some, that natural fear did not grow dim as the baby grew up. A small amount of healthy fear is good when raising kids, but for too many there is a fear that is so strong and so fierce that it becomes a destructive, crippling stronghold that steals, kills, and destroys the joy of  having kids. If you are experiencing this kind of fear, there is hope for freedom.

In addition to the fear of physically losing a child, there is a fear of having to one day let go and let your kids grow up. From the very moment we became mothers, the "letting go" process began. Even though your baby was totally dependent on you, the little thoughts of his "firsts" began in your mind: the first time he will smile, roll over, crawl, reach for you or a toy, crawls, says his first word, walks, stops wearing diapers, and on and on with other firsts to come. These are all stages of developing independence and requires our letting go in small degrees. For the first five years there are so many "firsts" to experience, in addition to those just mentioned--the first time you leave him with a sitter, the first time he plays at another's house, first time he goes to nursery, preschool, then kindergarten. For some of you, this a natural, easy process. For many, it is a heart-tearing, crushing process. On top of that, there is that nagging fear of losing them, of serious injury, illness, etc. This kind of fear is NOT the way the Lord intends parenting to be, or any other aspect of our lives, for that matter.
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In the next couple of blogs we will explore this "letting go" process. There is just too much to talk about in one entry. It is my hope and intent that as we explore this aspect of growing kids, we will gain insight into realizing that letting go isn't a negative thing. It is a step in the parenting process among a lifelong series of steps. Each phase of your kids' lives requires different responses from you and helping them pass from one phase to the next is really what "letting go" means. Our goal is to help them become strong, competent, vital, independent, Godly adults, and if we don't release them each step of the way, it will only serve to make it harder for them to get that place. It is actually one of the best things we can do for our kids.

For now, I will leave you with the following thoughts on being a mother that appeared on my desk. I don't know where it came from, but I think it is worth posting. It doesn't have a thing to do with letting go, but I think you will identify with it, and will have a little chuckle, too!

"Murphy's Law for Moms"
1. If you wear black, they will have a runny nose.
2. If you wear white, they will have muddy hands.
3. If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
4. If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
5. If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step in whatever was spilled.
6. If it is perfect, they will fix that for you.
7. If you say it, they will repeat it.
8. If it's important, they will forget it.
9. If you're tired, they will not be.
10. IF YOU LOVE THEM, YOU WILL SEE THE BEAUTY IN IT ALL!