Growing Kids - Not Grass

LETTING GO

PART 3

Our discussion today may seem heavy, but please "listen" with open minds and hearts. In the last blog we talked about how precious children are to God, that He blesses the womb with them. They are gifts from Him to us, However,we are to never hold them with a tightly gripped fist, but in an open hand, releasing them back to Him. For most mothers, it is a very difficult thing to do. Why is that? Obviously because we love them so, and they are a part of us. For many, it is in being a mother that we get our identity; but there is most often a root issue----a root of fear, a lack of trust in God. Not trusting God creates other "gods" in our lives, whether it is money, safety, possessions, jobs, husbands, etc., or kids--something or someone other than God becomes a god, an idol in our hearts.

IDOL:any object of ardent or excessive devotion or admiration.

IDOLATRY: worship of idols; excessive devotion or reverence for some person or thing.

GOD: an image that is worshipped; an idol; a person or thing deified or excessively honored.

As you read these definitions, where do your kids, or anything else, fall in the line of priority in your relationship with God? What or who do you spend most of your time, thoughts, and energy on---worrying about your kids' every move, so paralyzed by fear or possessiveness that you can't fully enjoy them or anything else, and therefore you cause your kids to live under your cloud of fear and possessiveness? This is not how God intends for motherhood to be. Being a mother should bring joy, not fear of loss. They were given to us by our Creator, to be loved, cherished, enjoyed, and molded, into men and women who serve God and others well. We are to seek Him in guiding them to be who He created them to be and then live by example, the people of God we are called to be. They were never intended to be deified or exalted above Him. In Exodus 20:3, His first commandment is, "You shall have no other gods before me." He is a jealous God, jealous for our devotion to Him, because it is only when He is first in our lives that we find the peace, joy, and contentment that He desires for us to live in. Anything or anyone else will most certainly leave us empty and disappointed; no person or thing can bring joy and fulfillment, but Him!

There was a time in my life as a young mother of  4, that my kids were definitely idols in my life. I was gripped with constant fear of losing them, fear of something bad happening to them, fear of them growing up and leaving our home one day. I am the first to admit that letting go of my kids has been a very difficult thing for me to do. And still, after having an empty nest for over 10 years, I miss them being with me every day. But there was a day, when our youngest was still very small, that God backed me into a corner and caused me to see that I was holding on to my kids with a gripped fist, fearing letting Him have control of their lives and mine in the area of being their mother. An older, wiser friend spoke truth into my life and told me they were more important to me than God and that I needed to repent of that and open my heart and hands to Him, giving them back to Him. I did just that, and slowly but surely He helped me trust Him with their lives. Are there still times that I long for the days when our home was filled with their laughter, their love, their needing me? Aboslutely! But to know that they all love and serve the Lord God Almighty and are strong, godly adults, brings me joy unspeakable! I am so grateful to that friend who loved me enough to speak the truth to me. I would have spent the days and years of raising our kids in fear of losing them and idolizing them, causing them to resent me and passing on my fears to them. I would have missed the sweet relationship I have with my heavenly Father, being able to thank Him completely for entrusting these remarkable and incredible creatures to Larry and I. They were His to begin with, and He does a much better job of being in control than I do! 

I know the struggle some of you have and I have nothing but compassion and care for you. Having been in your shoes earlier in my life is the reason I can tell you without reservation, that letting go of your kids and letting God take the reigns is the one of the best things you can do for them. They may hit some bumps in the road, but they would have anyway. Your goal as a mom should be to raise them to love and serve the Lord with all their hearts, minds, and souls, and their neighbors as themselves. They can't do that when you are holding them too tightly and modeling idolatry to them. So, if you find this "letting go" thing getting you down and you realize your kids are idols in your heart, I love you enough to tell you to get alone with God, repent of the idolatry of your kids, open your hands and release them to Him. They will be free to grow into the adults that He has designed them to be, and He will do a much better job of it than you can! On top of that, freedom to truly enjoy your kids will flood your life!