Daddies

Father's Day is past, and it may be a little weird to write a Father's Day message, but this will be one, of sorts. Even though it speaks of daddies, the message is to mothers.

The daddies in my life are great subject matter. All four of our sons are incredible, Godly daddies who point their kids to Jesus by the way they live and parent. For this blog, however, I will highlight three other daddies who have and still do, exemplify what a real daddy is. First of all, there is my precious, sweet Daddy, Joe Dell Redding. To say he was a model dad is an understatement. He loved unconditionally, extravagantly, and purely. He lived Jesus out in front of his family and others. Never did I hear him raise his voice, but the way he parented commanded obedience; not because my brother and I were afraid of him, but because we respected him. He never asked of us what he didn't ask of himself. He didn't preach at us, browbeat us, shame us, or treat us harshly. He simply expected us to do the right thing. His kind, yet authoritative way, was what brought obedience. He wasn't the kind of father who pulled us together every night and had Bible study and prayer. He simply lived his faith and I saw Jesus in him throughout his life. The way he trusted God was evident in the way he lived, and his life pointed me to Jesus. One of the best gifts he gave my brother and I, was the way he loved and cherished our mother and was not afraid to show it. What security that brought to our hearts, knowing that no matter what, our mother and daddy loved one another. To be assured of that creates a sense of security in children like nothing else can. Life with Daddy was much too short. He was called home to Jesus at the young age of 45 and although I only had 17 years with him, this man's love for me and his love for God reverberate in my life to this day. My relationship with God is what it is, in a strong way, because of my relationship with my daddy. I praise God for the man He chose to be my daddy. I just wish my kids and grand kids could have known him. I pray they see some of who he was, in me. He is an incredible example to follow!

Next is my God-given father-in-law, Oren Arvel Harris. At 90 years young, he is still a bottomless well of wisdom, love, and kindness. I didn't know him while he was raising his five children and obviously didn't witness his parenting techniques. But the proof is in the pudding, so to speak! All 5 of his and Munner's children love and serve the Lord with all their hearts. Now, from the stories I have heard, raising four boys with only 4 years between them was no walk in the park! Lots of opportunities to settle fist fights, summon the doctor, who conveniently lived next door, to attend to an injury inflicted upon one brother from another, male hormones and egos to assuage, etc. I think you get the picture. Then along comes this precious brown eyed, curly hair, darling little sister, and all the knowledge and expertise learned in handling the 4 boys had little use in raising a totally differently designed creature. Somehow, Granddaddy did it, and did it well. The sweet relationship the two of them have to this day is a testimony of the kind of wonderful daddy he was to her. He, too, lived his life as one that pointed his children to the Lord. Today, he still lives that way. After losing the love of his life after over 60 years of marriage, he has continually and openly drawn his strength and comfort from God and constantly encourages his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren to do the same. All of us, all eight grown children, all 15 grandchildren, and all 39 great grandchildren adore him! He has been the best father-in-law to me and the other four who married into the family. This is a great, great man, who quietly has lived out his life with heart and eyes on Jesus, giving Him praise and glory for the rich life he has. His legacy of fine, godly parenting will live on for many generations to come.

And last but certainly not least, is the love of my life and daddy of our four children, Larry Dan Harris. We were so young when we had our first baby, only 20 and 22. Neither of us knew anything about parenting, other than what we observed in our own parents. There were few books and even fewer classes for preparation of the most important "job" in the world! So we stepped out in joyful ignorance armed only with the examples set before us by our parents! I praise God that He somehow filled the holes or our deficits and lack of knowledge because our four kids love and serve Him alongside their spouses. I attribute 100 percent of earthly effort to their Daddy. No man in this day and time has loved their kids like he does. They know the love of a daddy that loves deeply, but loved enough to discipline when needed; they know the love of a daddy who sacrificed his wants and desires to make sure they were happy and doing what they enjoyed, and still does whenever they are around; they know the love of a daddy who wrestled in the floor, played dolls and dress-up; they know the love of a daddy who, when the kids are coming, prepares things in ways he knows they enjoy, whether they ever know or realize it; they know the love a daddy who loves Jesus with all his heart; they know the love of a daddy who, when walking through hard times, never, ever blames God, or does anything less than praise him for all the blessings He has given him; they know the love of a daddy who loves their mother extravagantly and isn't afraid to show it; they know the love of a daddy whose life has pointed them to love the Lord God Almighty with all their hearts, just as he does. They know the love of a daddy who loves them so deeply that he would give his life for any one of them or any one of our 13 grand kids! They know the love of a daddy who is not perfect and has made plenty of mistakes, and they are blessed to be the offspring of such an incredible daddy, and they all know it!

Why did I write this tribute to these three men? There are a couple of very distinctive things about them that should be encouraging to parents, both mothers and dads. These three men were, and are, extreme successes at being dads and one of the common threads that I see in these daddies is that they were all three dispensers of God's grace. They dealt with disobedience and rebellion, but seasoned their ways of discipline with grace, knowing we all fall short of walking without sin. The second thing they have in common is that they aren't necessarily the type you read about in books, who gather their families every night and have Bible study and prayer. These guys all lost their tempers in varying degrees, all made mistakes as parents, and all would be the first to tell you NOT to model after them. What stands out to me, however, is that they LIVED their love and commitment to God and their families. All the other actions that are good and have very positive results, were not practiced by these men on any sort of a regularly organized basis. Oh, there have been countless times of prayer and Bible study, but not because it was what SHOULD have been done in order to be a godly dad, but what was spontaneous, or Holy Spirit inspired. Please hear me---I am not saying that those things are bad, or are not necessary, or that they are not Holy Spirit inspired. I am just trying to encourage those who may be married to men whose "bent" is not that way. IT IS OKAY! God works with us on all levels and accomplishes His plans His way. God told me a long time ago, when I tried so hard to put my husband in a textbook mold, that he would not be that kind of husband or dad, but that he would be exactly who HE called and designed him to be. And the results are greater than anything I could ever have dreamed of! I am very, very grateful for the man who is the daddy to our kids, and for the KIND of daddy he is. I suspect if you poll them, all four would say the same thing: they have the greatest daddy on earth! And they do!

So be encouraged, my sweet friends. Pray for your man, lift him up, and don't judge him. Allow him to be who GOD designed him to be, not a textbook---or even your own rendering! I promise you, if you let God make him into the daddy you want for your children, he will far surpass anything you could hope or imagine!