It has been a while since I have written, and even longer since I have written directly concerning the message of the blog--"Growing Kids, Not Grass."
Recently I experienced a situation which was a great reminder for me to remind you of the message of the blog.
It was the Thanksgiving season, a time for school programs, and feasts prepared in splendid abundance. Such was the situation I found myself in a few weeks ago. I had the pleasure of attending one of our grandson's preschool Thanksgiving program and then to share in the feast with his classmates, teachers, and family. Such excitement filled the air, the culmination of many weeks of practices and then the big show! Added to that list of reasons for electric joy, the Thanksgiving holidays were starting with the end of the feast and days of fun and cousins and food were joyously ahead!
We completed all of the scheduled activities and I was given a detailed tour of Micah's school and classroom, by Micah himself! What fun to enter the world of a 4 year old and experience the sights, smells, and colors of his world! I was as excited to see it all as Micah was to share it with me.
As we made our way through the halls of his school, Micah and big brother, Jacob, hopped, skipped, and sometimes ran ahead, narrowly escaping a crash or two with the oncoming traffic of fellow classmates and their families, even dodging a couple of strollers here and there!
I basked in the joy of watching my grandsons excitedly skip and run, and observed the abundance of mommies and daddies experiencing the balancing act of corralling their children, and I was taken back to the days when I was the mommy, and MY kids were the ones running the halls and MY baby was in the stroller! And it suddenly seemed like yesterday! Ahhhh, how well I remember those days, days which, though exciting, seemed light years long! The juggling of strollers, endless changing of diapers, making sure the older kids got the amount of attention they needed while meeting the needs of an infant; chasing my older kids down school halls, calling out for them to "slow down and be careful" as they darted in and out of the fast approaching human traffic; all over too soon! I was overwhelmingly struck by how quickly my life had progressed from mommy leading the chase down the hall to grandmother bringing up the rear! And I thought to myself, I wish I had savored the times and cherished the harried moments, and embraced every aspect of my kids "growing up" years as if it would all be over in a snap. Because it WAS over in a snap! Much quicker than I ever dreamed it would be! And I will tell you like I told my daughter-in-love, the mommy of those two precious boys, cherish the moments you have with your little ones, no matter how hectic, how tiring, how challenging they can be. Before you know it, YOU will be bringing up the rear, watching it all from "afar", reminiscing of sweet days gone by. Now, I savor those moments as "Ninny", not "Mommy", which, by the way, is a joy indescribable. But for you, in the stage of life you are in now, remember, "You are growing kids, not grass" and you don't want to miss any detail of this fleeting time!

A SOFT ANSWER

For the last few months, God has had me going through the book of John, slowly. A couple of weeks ago, I read John 8:1-11. As I read it, I He gave me one of the most impactful lessons I have had in a while. It so impacted my life that I believe it is something that needs to be shared with those who read this. It is not new revelation knowledge, but a truth that often goes by the wayside as our society gets more and more lax in the ways we relate to one another.
It is not intended to create guilt or condemnation, but to inspire us to be dispensers of grace rather than dispensers of grief.

Most of you are probably familiar with the story in John 8 of the woman caught in adultery; the one the Pharisees brought to Jesus to test Him. They set her in the midst of Jesus and the men and said to Him, "Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do you say?" Jesus' response was remarkable. As I read the story, I was again struck by the fact that Jesus didn't react quickly or respond to the accuser's harsh words and actions. He quietly knelt down and began to write in the sand. He finally spoke the gentle, but powerful, words, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." As you no doubt remember, one by one the accusers dropped their stones and walked away. Powerful! That is a lesson in itself, but the following is what God showed me and has continued to bring to my heart and mind often: Jesus' quiet response reminded me of the scripture in Proverbs that says, "A soft answer turns away wrath." I looked the verse up in Proverbs 15:1 and what I read blew me away! The wellspring of truth doesn't stop with that one verse. The passage goes on to say: "A soft(gentle) answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A soothing(wholesome) tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks/crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:1-4.

I have quoted verse one often, because harsh voices have always really bothered me. Not that I never talk ugly or raise my voice, but I didn't grow up in a home in which I was yelled at or talked down to, so it is particularly hard for me to hear. But what I think doesn't matter; it is what the Lord says that matters. I have believed and often stated that no one "hears" in the heart what another says in anger and harshness. We hear with our ears, but the response is not what the one speaking is going for. Let's break down these verses. "A soft answer turns away wrath." That speaks for itself. It is not in the yelling or talking to one another like dogs that we make our point. (That is almost a laughable example because in this day and time, dogs/animals are often treated better than we treat one another!) Oh, we may get an outwardly submissive response, but the heart of the recipient is stirred to inner anger and resentment. Contrarily, when we correct with gentleness, the recipient's heart receives correction.

Verse 2 of Proverbs 15 verifies this: "The tongue of the WISE uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness." We grown ups may have good and right things to say, but the WAY we say them results in one of two things: we either sound foolish and not to be respected or heard, OR we speak with the tone and words of an intelligent person and our words command respect.

Verse 3: "The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good," All we say and do is noticed by God, and He is watching and hearing. The example He set time and time again through His Son was one of peace, calm, intelligence, and gentleness; not harsh, degrading, "You stupid idiot" tones. The result of that? People listened and heard what He said. Next, verse 4 is so impactful and rich: "A soothing or wholesome tongue is a TREE OF LIFE, but perversion in it BREAKS/CRUSHES the spirit." Our tongues are so powerful---we either speak life or we speak death from them. Do we, as parent, grandparents, and ambassadors of Jesus Christ, want to be taken seriously and be heard? Or do we just want to make our point and strike with the tongue of a snake, which strikes with pain and death and leaves its victims in the dirt? Talking down to others, lashing out with a loud harsh tongue, does not result in the thing we are after. If you talk to your kids(or others) in this manner, you are stirring up anger and resentment in them. As they grow older, not only will they not respect you and what you have to say, they will in turn talk to their kids in the same way. This not only goes for the way we speak to kids, but to our spouses also. Our influences on our spouses will be much more affective if we heed what God tells us in Proverbs.

I write these things, not as one who is NOT guilty, but as one who has been both the recipient AND the giver of harsh words and a "you stupid idiot" attitude. I will admit, as a grandmother, I am very defensive of children, and my heart's desire is that they are never spoken to in this way. Even more importantly, we are representatives of Jesus Christ, and as such our actions and speech should be as His. Please hear my heart. This is not to be condemning nor accusing. I simply desire that we succeed as parents, grandparents, spouses, friends---examples of His love and grace. Just like the Pharisees who could not throw the first stone, not one of us is without guilt in this, if we are totally honest. My hope is that we each seek God and ask HIM where we fall as "life givers, or life crushers."
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it will eat of its fruit." Proverbs 18:21. God help us become life givers. He will, as we lean on Him for change and help.

Daddies

Father's Day is past, and it may be a little weird to write a Father's Day message, but this will be one, of sorts. Even though it speaks of daddies, the message is to mothers.

The daddies in my life are great subject matter. All four of our sons are incredible, Godly daddies who point their kids to Jesus by the way they live and parent. For this blog, however, I will highlight three other daddies who have and still do, exemplify what a real daddy is. First of all, there is my precious, sweet Daddy, Joe Dell Redding. To say he was a model dad is an understatement. He loved unconditionally, extravagantly, and purely. He lived Jesus out in front of his family and others. Never did I hear him raise his voice, but the way he parented commanded obedience; not because my brother and I were afraid of him, but because we respected him. He never asked of us what he didn't ask of himself. He didn't preach at us, browbeat us, shame us, or treat us harshly. He simply expected us to do the right thing. His kind, yet authoritative way, was what brought obedience. He wasn't the kind of father who pulled us together every night and had Bible study and prayer. He simply lived his faith and I saw Jesus in him throughout his life. The way he trusted God was evident in the way he lived, and his life pointed me to Jesus. One of the best gifts he gave my brother and I, was the way he loved and cherished our mother and was not afraid to show it. What security that brought to our hearts, knowing that no matter what, our mother and daddy loved one another. To be assured of that creates a sense of security in children like nothing else can. Life with Daddy was much too short. He was called home to Jesus at the young age of 45 and although I only had 17 years with him, this man's love for me and his love for God reverberate in my life to this day. My relationship with God is what it is, in a strong way, because of my relationship with my daddy. I praise God for the man He chose to be my daddy. I just wish my kids and grand kids could have known him. I pray they see some of who he was, in me. He is an incredible example to follow!

Next is my God-given father-in-law, Oren Arvel Harris. At 90 years young, he is still a bottomless well of wisdom, love, and kindness. I didn't know him while he was raising his five children and obviously didn't witness his parenting techniques. But the proof is in the pudding, so to speak! All 5 of his and Munner's children love and serve the Lord with all their hearts. Now, from the stories I have heard, raising four boys with only 4 years between them was no walk in the park! Lots of opportunities to settle fist fights, summon the doctor, who conveniently lived next door, to attend to an injury inflicted upon one brother from another, male hormones and egos to assuage, etc. I think you get the picture. Then along comes this precious brown eyed, curly hair, darling little sister, and all the knowledge and expertise learned in handling the 4 boys had little use in raising a totally differently designed creature. Somehow, Granddaddy did it, and did it well. The sweet relationship the two of them have to this day is a testimony of the kind of wonderful daddy he was to her. He, too, lived his life as one that pointed his children to the Lord. Today, he still lives that way. After losing the love of his life after over 60 years of marriage, he has continually and openly drawn his strength and comfort from God and constantly encourages his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren to do the same. All of us, all eight grown children, all 15 grandchildren, and all 39 great grandchildren adore him! He has been the best father-in-law to me and the other four who married into the family. This is a great, great man, who quietly has lived out his life with heart and eyes on Jesus, giving Him praise and glory for the rich life he has. His legacy of fine, godly parenting will live on for many generations to come.

And last but certainly not least, is the love of my life and daddy of our four children, Larry Dan Harris. We were so young when we had our first baby, only 20 and 22. Neither of us knew anything about parenting, other than what we observed in our own parents. There were few books and even fewer classes for preparation of the most important "job" in the world! So we stepped out in joyful ignorance armed only with the examples set before us by our parents! I praise God that He somehow filled the holes or our deficits and lack of knowledge because our four kids love and serve Him alongside their spouses. I attribute 100 percent of earthly effort to their Daddy. No man in this day and time has loved their kids like he does. They know the love of a daddy that loves deeply, but loved enough to discipline when needed; they know the love of a daddy who sacrificed his wants and desires to make sure they were happy and doing what they enjoyed, and still does whenever they are around; they know the love of a daddy who wrestled in the floor, played dolls and dress-up; they know the love of a daddy who, when the kids are coming, prepares things in ways he knows they enjoy, whether they ever know or realize it; they know the love a daddy who loves Jesus with all his heart; they know the love of a daddy who, when walking through hard times, never, ever blames God, or does anything less than praise him for all the blessings He has given him; they know the love of a daddy who loves their mother extravagantly and isn't afraid to show it; they know the love of a daddy whose life has pointed them to love the Lord God Almighty with all their hearts, just as he does. They know the love of a daddy who loves them so deeply that he would give his life for any one of them or any one of our 13 grand kids! They know the love of a daddy who is not perfect and has made plenty of mistakes, and they are blessed to be the offspring of such an incredible daddy, and they all know it!

Why did I write this tribute to these three men? There are a couple of very distinctive things about them that should be encouraging to parents, both mothers and dads. These three men were, and are, extreme successes at being dads and one of the common threads that I see in these daddies is that they were all three dispensers of God's grace. They dealt with disobedience and rebellion, but seasoned their ways of discipline with grace, knowing we all fall short of walking without sin. The second thing they have in common is that they aren't necessarily the type you read about in books, who gather their families every night and have Bible study and prayer. These guys all lost their tempers in varying degrees, all made mistakes as parents, and all would be the first to tell you NOT to model after them. What stands out to me, however, is that they LIVED their love and commitment to God and their families. All the other actions that are good and have very positive results, were not practiced by these men on any sort of a regularly organized basis. Oh, there have been countless times of prayer and Bible study, but not because it was what SHOULD have been done in order to be a godly dad, but what was spontaneous, or Holy Spirit inspired. Please hear me---I am not saying that those things are bad, or are not necessary, or that they are not Holy Spirit inspired. I am just trying to encourage those who may be married to men whose "bent" is not that way. IT IS OKAY! God works with us on all levels and accomplishes His plans His way. God told me a long time ago, when I tried so hard to put my husband in a textbook mold, that he would not be that kind of husband or dad, but that he would be exactly who HE called and designed him to be. And the results are greater than anything I could ever have dreamed of! I am very, very grateful for the man who is the daddy to our kids, and for the KIND of daddy he is. I suspect if you poll them, all four would say the same thing: they have the greatest daddy on earth! And they do!

So be encouraged, my sweet friends. Pray for your man, lift him up, and don't judge him. Allow him to be who GOD designed him to be, not a textbook---or even your own rendering! I promise you, if you let God make him into the daddy you want for your children, he will far surpass anything you could hope or imagine!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! Just wanted to take a moment and wish all of the mothers/mommies out there a wonderful Mother's Day! I celebrate you and your life and the lives you have contributed to this world! Please indulge me a few minutes as I take this opportunity to thank my wonderful husband for birthing and parenting with me all these almost 41 years we have been parents. What an amazing partner, husband, daddy, and D-Daddy you are! I love you with all of my heart! And to our wonderful four children, Jason, Carri, Clint, and Cody and the gifts of our "in-love" children, Carol, Ty, Reagan, and Taylor, and last but not least, to the most amazing 13 grandchildren in the world--Courtlyn, Kade, Kinsey, Truman, Maggie, Savanna, Braedan, Hope, Jacob, Micah, Cooper, Grayson, and Turner! You TRULY light up my life and thrill me every time I see each of you! I thank God for the gifts of these incredible 21 people who make my life so rich! Thank you for loving and respecting me, even through all the mistakes I have made as your mother and grandmother. I will never cease to be amazed that God has blessed me so and allowed me to be a part of your lives as your mother and grandmother. To my precious mother, Nancy Scott Redding, who was the best mother anyone could ever have. You modeled the joy of being a mother to me by the way you "mothered" and from the time I can remember, I wanted to be a mommy, just like you. What a joy it will be to see you again at the feet of Jesus! To the BEST mother-in-love God ever created--Ella McGowan Harris--God knew exactly who I needed as another mother when He brought our lives together. I have modeled my life as a mother-in-love and grandmother after YOU---you were the BEST and it will be a joy to see you at the feet of Jesus one day, too! To those of you who have not experienced motherhood, or who have lost children far too soon, I pray that the comfort and presence of the Holy Spirit is your constant companion. May He fill you with the joy that only He can bring. And to the Lord God Almighty, Who has blessed me "exceedingly abundantly, beyond all I could ask or think" in countless ways, but especially in allowing me to be a mother and grandmother. I love You, Lord, and declare that I stand, I stand in awe of You! Glory and honor to Your Name. From a greatful mother--- Janis Dell Redding Harris

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT HE IS UP TO!

 

       Winter in Amarillo, Texas.



This cold, icey day reminds me of when we lived in a foreign country---Amarillo, Texas! I had heard of this far away place before, but didn't know that it actually was a part of Texas. It might well of been across the ocean, as far as I was concerned. But that is exactly where my husband moved us and this was to be our new home.

 We were all of  20 and 22 years old when we pulled into that far away place, with all of our possessions packed tightly into a U-Haul truck and a 2 1/2 month old baby boy in arms. It was midnight and freezing cold, and we had begun our journey to the unknown at 5 am that morning. We rented a motel room, leaving our one car and one rented U-Haul in the parking lot. The next morning, eager to get out and try to find a place to live (that's right--we had no place to live yet), you can imagine our shock when we stepped outside to find the parking lot and our vehicles covered in a thick, twinkling blanket of snow! I thought I surely was in the twilight zone. We left Texas(remember, I had only recently learned where Amarillo is) in rainy, muggy, January Texas weather, and woke up to the North Pole, knowing NO ONE and having NOWHERE TO LIVE! Upset? Who? ME? You bet I was!

You may be wondering what in the world this has to do with growing kids. You see, what I thought was one of the worst things that had happened in my life turned out to be one of the things that God used to help me find my way to Him. He used it for so much good in both our lives. It was a major but hard stop on the journey of life that grew me up tremendously and rocked my world so hard that it caused me to search and search for Him. (More of this is described in the ABOUT ME section of the blog). That is the message I want to send to you today, that no matter what the tough times are that you will go through with your kids, hold on and look up, because God can take the darkest and hardest of times and bring greatness out of them. With all of our kids, I can look over their lives and see where He has had His hand in and on every hard and yucky place they were in. That is how all of life is when you belong to Him and live for Him. He will do what He promises to do. "And we know that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are the called, according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. He doesn't say everything is good that happens, but He will work good out of it when we love Him. The best place to be is on your knees praying and trusting Him to do His work.

In our family, He took a heavy drinking, drug-taking, wild young man who was brought up in church by parents who loved and cherished him, and He turned him around like a spinning top, right into His loving and forgiving arms. He used him as a youth pastor for 11 years, this one who could understand what kids struggle with, because he was one of them at one time. And now He is using him as pastor of a church body, again using the tough experiences of his life to help point others to the One who pulled him up out of the miry clay. He worked ugly stuff into being used for good! By the way, he is the same 2 1/2 month old that made the journey to the unknown, Amarillo, with his daddy and me.

There are many more stories with our other kids and in our lives in which God worked good out of bad. None of them were solved by anything we did. There is no formula for raising kids who love and serve Him. The best and most powerful tools we have is to pray for them and love them and live authentic lives that point them to Him.

Just as this cold, icey weather will turn to beautiful, sunny days, so will the hard, dark things that concern us, if we trust Him with them and look to Him for help and guidance.



 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

I mean that!  I DO hope you have a happy new year and that you experience the blessings of the Lord throughout the year!

 

It has been a while since I last posted. As all of you, I have had a hectic and crazy holiday and just had not extra time to write. Today's blog will be a little different than the others, as my family has walked through an experience over the holidays that has rocked our world.

 

We have some very close friends, whom we have known since the 1970's. One of their daughters, who spent a great deal of time in our home during her middle school and high school years and was a close friend of our daughter, has been battling cancer for the last 7 years. She would conquer one attack and enjoy a season of wellness, when another type would attack her body. Throughout the entire 7 years, this precious woman never waivered in her trust and faith in Christ and believed that she would beat the disease. We all did. God did heal her totally, just not on this side of heaven. Three days before Christmas she became very weakened and ill and had to be admitted to the hospital. After tests were conducted, the family was told that the cancer had once again attacked her body and the outcome didn't look good. This amazing family kept their eyes on Jesus and determined to help her come back to health. But on Friday, December 28, 2012, she was carried in the arms of Jesus to her ultimate healing in heaven.

 

My intention in writing this is not to bring you down, but to exalt what a mighty God we serve and tell you with Him, we can walk through anything as parents and have peace, faith, and trust through the storm. Never in my life have I witnessed a family so full of faith and trust. Of course, they are heartbroken at the loss of their precious, just barely 40 year old daughter who was a wonderful wife and a mother to 3 amazing Godly children. Of course they cry and grieve. Of course they want it to be otherwise. But they exhibit such steadfast faith in God, saying, "Not our will, but Yours," and meaning it. We have experienced in this man and woman what it means to have your heart ripped out as a parent and still hold on to the hand of the only One who can help them survive their loss, Almighty God, never waivering in their trust in Him. They truly mourn the loss of their daughter, but celebrate her life on earth and her life in heaven, as she praises and worships the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!

 

As  parents, this beautiful woman and her strong, Godly husband, lived their lives before their kids in such a way as to instill in them that same strong faith. Their marriage exhibited two people who love the Lord and each other with all their hearts, and a commitment to one another, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Their example of love and commitment to God pointed their children to Him and these 3 people are strong young men and a young woman who love Him with their whole hearts. Her husband and children honor her in their faithfulness to the Lord. No wife or parent could ask for more.

 

I say, "Thank you" to this incredible family, who have shown through their faith and trust in God, that His comfort and peace are real. He IS who He says He is, and He is with us in the storms, no matter how horrific they are, and He carries us through by His grace and mercy. It is real. He is real. He is Lord of all. So, my dear sisters, I pray this encourages you to hold your families close and love them, through the good times and bad, and above all, to draw closer to our Lord and Savior than ever before. He will never leave or forsake us. NEVER.



LETTING GO

PART 3

Our discussion today may seem heavy, but please "listen" with open minds and hearts. In the last blog we talked about how precious children are to God, that He blesses the womb with them. They are gifts from Him to us, However,we are to never hold them with a tightly gripped fist, but in an open hand, releasing them back to Him. For most mothers, it is a very difficult thing to do. Why is that? Obviously because we love them so, and they are a part of us. For many, it is in being a mother that we get our identity; but there is most often a root issue----a root of fear, a lack of trust in God. Not trusting God creates other "gods" in our lives, whether it is money, safety, possessions, jobs, husbands, etc., or kids--something or someone other than God becomes a god, an idol in our hearts.

IDOL:any object of ardent or excessive devotion or admiration.

IDOLATRY: worship of idols; excessive devotion or reverence for some person or thing.

GOD: an image that is worshipped; an idol; a person or thing deified or excessively honored.

As you read these definitions, where do your kids, or anything else, fall in the line of priority in your relationship with God? What or who do you spend most of your time, thoughts, and energy on---worrying about your kids' every move, so paralyzed by fear or possessiveness that you can't fully enjoy them or anything else, and therefore you cause your kids to live under your cloud of fear and possessiveness? This is not how God intends for motherhood to be. Being a mother should bring joy, not fear of loss. They were given to us by our Creator, to be loved, cherished, enjoyed, and molded, into men and women who serve God and others well. We are to seek Him in guiding them to be who He created them to be and then live by example, the people of God we are called to be. They were never intended to be deified or exalted above Him. In Exodus 20:3, His first commandment is, "You shall have no other gods before me." He is a jealous God, jealous for our devotion to Him, because it is only when He is first in our lives that we find the peace, joy, and contentment that He desires for us to live in. Anything or anyone else will most certainly leave us empty and disappointed; no person or thing can bring joy and fulfillment, but Him!

There was a time in my life as a young mother of  4, that my kids were definitely idols in my life. I was gripped with constant fear of losing them, fear of something bad happening to them, fear of them growing up and leaving our home one day. I am the first to admit that letting go of my kids has been a very difficult thing for me to do. And still, after having an empty nest for over 10 years, I miss them being with me every day. But there was a day, when our youngest was still very small, that God backed me into a corner and caused me to see that I was holding on to my kids with a gripped fist, fearing letting Him have control of their lives and mine in the area of being their mother. An older, wiser friend spoke truth into my life and told me they were more important to me than God and that I needed to repent of that and open my heart and hands to Him, giving them back to Him. I did just that, and slowly but surely He helped me trust Him with their lives. Are there still times that I long for the days when our home was filled with their laughter, their love, their needing me? Aboslutely! But to know that they all love and serve the Lord God Almighty and are strong, godly adults, brings me joy unspeakable! I am so grateful to that friend who loved me enough to speak the truth to me. I would have spent the days and years of raising our kids in fear of losing them and idolizing them, causing them to resent me and passing on my fears to them. I would have missed the sweet relationship I have with my heavenly Father, being able to thank Him completely for entrusting these remarkable and incredible creatures to Larry and I. They were His to begin with, and He does a much better job of being in control than I do! 

I know the struggle some of you have and I have nothing but compassion and care for you. Having been in your shoes earlier in my life is the reason I can tell you without reservation, that letting go of your kids and letting God take the reigns is the one of the best things you can do for them. They may hit some bumps in the road, but they would have anyway. Your goal as a mom should be to raise them to love and serve the Lord with all their hearts, minds, and souls, and their neighbors as themselves. They can't do that when you are holding them too tightly and modeling idolatry to them. So, if you find this "letting go" thing getting you down and you realize your kids are idols in your heart, I love you enough to tell you to get alone with God, repent of the idolatry of your kids, open your hands and release them to Him. They will be free to grow into the adults that He has designed them to be, and He will do a much better job of it than you can! On top of that, freedom to truly enjoy your kids will flood your life!